Hello...is this thing on?!

I'm just contemplating the world of blogging outside of livejournal and MySpace. Somewhere new, fun, exciting! A place where few people know me.


Important topics I will most likely discuss on a regular basis.

1) I scarf (I don't knit) I scarf. I can make long scarves, short scarves, skinny scarves and fat scarves. I suppose if I made a long enough, fat enough scarf it could be considered a blanket or a shawl but to me...it's a scarf. I knit (or purl...I will NEVER be sure of what the difference is) every stitch on every row, over and over and over again. I like it that way. I don't know what "turning your work" means but if I could figure it out then I'm sure it would improve my scarving...I also don't know how to knit in the round but THAT I would actually like to learn. I've tried to YouTube videos BUT all the videos I've found are of people making socks for Lord knows what tiny creature...possibly ferrets. Point being, I can't learn on something that small. I need big fat giant needles to learn.


2) I have the world's worst cat. Don't get me wrong...I love her to death but she is evil. Pure evil. She seriously hates everyone and everything. I raised her from BIRTH! Around the clock feedings, taught her how to eat solid food and how to poop, tons of sleepless nights and she's the most ungrateful cat I've ever known. She hisses, bites and growls. She has also been diagnosed as mentally unstable...HELLO! Check out who her mother is! I'm slightly mentally unstable myself. She's my little baby though and I love her more than words can explain...yes, I'm that crazy lady...with the cat.


3) I have a nephew. The most gorgeous perfect nephew in the whole entire world. I will brag about him constantly. Get used to it. He's amazingly smart for a two year old and currently he loves "diggers". He calls me Ahmean which is actually pretty close to my real name. It's very cute.


4) I'm very sarcastic and honest and blunt and often say things that are a slightly inappropriate. It's just me. It's the way I am. I like the same in return. I will tell a stranger if their zipper is down, they have something stuck in their teeth, or if their tag is sticking out because I'd want someone to do the same for me! It's common courtesy in my opinion. I have lots of opinions...LOTS!!!! If I don't like you, I'll tell you. I'm also a control freak and a planner. If there's not a plan I have panic attacks. I'm NOT spontaneous at all! It freaks me out! I'm also a list maker. Lists are my life.


5) I am a derby girl. It sucks the life out of me but I love it. My derby name is Pistol Kitten (see crazy cat lady returns!)


6) I have a couple of serious quirks.

a.) I'm a counter. I count things. I don't do it out loud in a creepy rainman kind of way. I do it quitely and to myself. My boyfriend is probably the only person in the world up to this point that knows this. And he only knows because every so often I will announce counts that amuse/perplex/confound me. Example: "Hey B, you see that car in front of us with the weird tail lights? There's 12 bulbs in each tail light and there's twelve bulbs in the one above the trunk but their smaller so it doesn't seem like there's the same number! I wonder why they chose 12?" He never answers my questions with anything more than a "Huh...interesting"

b.) I have panic attacks regularly. They creep up out of no where. They can last days. It's very annoying. It's been happening since I was 13. No reason for them. They just happen. Mainly when strange people are touching me.

c.) I also always think I'm chubby or fat. It doesn't matter how thin I am, I SEE myself differently (little bit of the body dysmorphia thing). The only reason it doesn't bother me too much is because I LOVE FOOD! If it weren't for that one fact, I would have an eating disorder but I don't...because I LOVE FOOD!!! I'm known to have what people affectionately call my "second dinner". Yup...I'm a pig! I'll eat an entire meal around 6PM and then another around 9PM. It's not that I'm hungry, it's just that I like to eat! Food is awesome! Oddly enough, it doesn't even have to taste that great. It doesn't have to be the BEST food in the world. Food...in my mouth...that's all I really care about. So I don't see much wrong with seeing myself 30 pounds heavier than I actually am...I'm still gonna eat!

7) I'm diabetic...it makes the food loving more difficult. I've had diabetes for 11 years. I'm one of the few people my age that has like 40 doctors because you have to have a doctor that specializes in diabetes for everything. The most frustrating thing about being diabetic is that if you have diabetes you are more likely to have like a million other diseases like diabetics often/over time develop an allergy to gluten. Gee thanks! And diabetics are more likely to have cavities. Really! And diabetics are prone to all kinds of neuropathies which are super awful...go ahead look up neurophathies...they all suck! And there's the whole taking longer to heal, weakened immune system, and lots and lots of other things. I used to think that these only happened if your diabetes was out of control (meaning you weren't taking care of yourself) but a lot of it happens no matter how careful you are. I've been in control for about 9 of my 11 years. I've only experienced a few of these horrible awful "side effects" of diabetes...because diabetes isn't bad enough! So yeah, that's the only part I really hate about it. It's unpredicatable and that's kinda scary. I'm also convince that I will only live to be 65. So I've got a lot of living to do in the next 15 years!

8) Number 7 leads me to number 8! I LOVE KIDS. I knew I wanted to be a mom when I was tiny. I still WANT to be a mom, but I won't. I've made the decision to not have kids. Part of it is that I'm 30 and don't seem to be heading down the aisle anytime soon and part of it came about years ago, after my divorce (yeah, I've done that too!). See diabetes is inherited in my family, there are clear lines, very obvious! This is a family thing. It also seems that Type I diabetes (the kind I have) skips a generation in my family. Example: My maternal grandmother was diabetic, my mother is coming down with the dreaded Type II diabetes and then I am a Type I. It's pretty much like that no matter how far we go back on my mom's side. Sucks! So I decided that I would NEVER, EVER pass this on to anyone that I love. I'm trying to break the chain. I don't want to repeat the vicious cycle. There's no need! It seriously is like a death sentence.

OK. That's enough of a start. I was going to try to get to 10 but this is already wayyyy to much information.